Skip to main content

Tag: tulipa black parrot

braggart proclaims “no need to smack your mothers,” puts foot in mouth

Remember last fall when I promised the 500 bulbs I planted on either side of my walk would make you want to smack you mama? Well, in honor of our mothers on this very special day, I am happy to report that there will be no call for smacking, no call whatsoever.

For what was to be my bright shining glory, my “suck it, monkeys” moment of gloating, has passed with a nary a taunt. Because in my infinite foolhardiness, I failed to take into account the fact that the sun would move so damned north for the winter, so that the peak of the roof would shade varying northfacing sections of the bed as the sun passed from east to west. So in addition to the black parrots blooming a beat later than the rococo, the rococo opened progressively from one corner to its opposite over the course of a week. The net effect was that the first to open dropped petals many days before the last opened theirs.

A whimper moreso than a bang.

Even so, it would take a cold hard profligate motherscratcher to complain about how 500 tulips happen to decide to open. That’s me. Sheesh. Scratch scratch mom. Happy mother’s day.

Countdown to March

I’ve a long-term plan for the front walkway that will in two to three years time be so awesome you may be compelled to smack you mama. Here is the recipe:

smackyoumama frontwalk cocktail
300 tulipa rococo
200 tulipa black parrot
125 lilum alba
50 allium sphærocephalon
6 single white pæonia

Blend the rococo and black parrot tulip bulbs on either side closest to the walk. Next to those plant the six peonies. Behind the peonies blend the lilies and the allium.

It’ll be a nice height progression from the 12-18″ tulips to the 18-24″-ish peonies to the 24-30″ allium mixed with the 4-6′ lilies. Plus the smell of the lilies along the walk for the majority of july may compel you to kiss you auntie on the mouf. I’ll plant basil seeds among the tulips so when they die back the basil will take over. 2-3 years for the peonies and the lilies to get to a good size, but it won’t be anything to shake a stick at in the meantime.