Skip to main content

Tag: albino lobster

Auto-Horn-Tooting Put to Auto-Challenge

If I were in tenth grade and my English teacher said we were all under too much pressure and so instead of doing work today we were going to sit in a circle and talk about our feelings and she started off with an exercise where we had to complete the sentence “if you knew me well you would know that I…” I would finish the sentence by saying “you would know that when I want to find something I find it.”

Cases in point: When I got to the beach in Washington I said I want to find a whole sand dollar. And I did! A whole bunch of ’em. And when I was walking behind a tennis club in Vermont on Saturday I said I want to find a tennis ball and guess what! I found two! I could come up with dozens more (or at least one) of this kind of story, but I am modest man, mindful of his audience and its need to rush on to the next big thing so I will limit myself to these two.

But now, a challenge to my preening, a one in one hundred million needle in a haystack if the haystack were the sea and the needle were an albino lobster challenge, I WANT TO FIND AN ALBINO LOBSTER!!

don't f**k with whitey!
don't f**k with whitey!

Blue Lobster

I found a very blue lobster claw on the beach in Maine. Pretty!

Courtney looked it up and as I live and breathe there is such a thing that lives and breathes. One in two to four million lobsters is blue, depending on which source you consult. That got us purty excited. It’s a genetic mutation (like redheads!) that causes the little crusty-tasty to overproduce protein that combines with carotene to make the blue.  There are also yellow lobsters (one in thirty million), two-tone or half-and-half lobsters (one in fifty million), and baddest of the bad sea-scuttling mofos, the albino lobster (one in one hundred million)

I looked at my little blue claw again later and compared it to this guy and I don’t think so. You can see around the blue that there is red, and it’s blue only in places where it looks worn. More likely than I found the the missing limb of some ancient mutated sea freak now roaming the bottoms wailing for his missing claw, I think the sun and waves just wore the red away.

Decide fer yerselfs: