I forgot to pack my swimsuit for our visit to Courtney’s parents, and talk of the pool started up and I started backing out. My shorts, you see, were a bit tight thanks to the summer of travel food and happy happy 4-martini evenings watching the recommended 30 Rock (I miss my Arrested Development) and the Roadhouse takeout party nights. Hey, it ain’t easy being partner to a pregnant lady
It was midafternoon hot and the missus went down to the pool and I bowed out: I just don’t think I want to, I said. Instead I went to our room and read her sister’s snowboarding magazine. But after five minutes of guys dropping in over fifty-foot cliffs and “I was shredding that pipe and it was sick” I said screw this. I put on my too-tight shorts and went down to the pool. I took off my shirt and I said Ya know, sometimes, ya just gotta rock the muffin-top. and I looked at Courtney’s mom and I said Joan, this one’s for you, and I cannonballed into the pool.